Consulate your Brother & Sister
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raaji’oun: (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return)
Rahimahu Allah(for him)/Rahimahaa( for her) Allah (May Allah have mercy on him/her)
Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama.) saying, “When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: `Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji`un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf likhairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and better substitute.” Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) died, I repeated the same supplication as the Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama.) had commanded me (to do). So Allah bestowed upon me a better substitute than him (I was married to Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama.) [Muslim]
We Learn: The better substitute which fell to Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) as her lot, was her marriage with the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama.) after the death of her husband Abu Salam(May Allah be pleased with him). She got the reward in her earthly life. If somebody remains deprived of it in the world, he is sure to have it in the life to come. However, this depends on the Will of Allah, for being the Creator, He has the best knowledge of what is appropriate and good for us.
وله ما أعطى .
وكل شيء عنده بأجل مُسمى …
فلتصبر ولتحتسب “وإن قال :
“أعظم الله أجرك ،
Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama.) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, `Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa) then asks, `Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, `What did my slave say?’ They say: `He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: `Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”’ [At-Tirmidhi]
We learn: The death of a child is distressing to parents. But it will be a matter of great excellence on their part if they are patient.
Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) narrated: The daughter of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama) sent for him as her child was dying, but the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama) returned the messenger and sent her good wishes saying, “Whatever Allah takes away or gives, belongs to Him, and everything with Him has a limited fixed term (in this world), and so she should be patient and anticipate Allah’s reward.” She again sent for him adjuring him for the sake of Allah to come. The Messenger of Allah, accompanied with Sa`d bin `Ubadah, Mu`adh bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Zaid bin Thabit and some other men went to see her. The child was lifted up to the Messenger of Allah while his breath was disturbed in his chest. On seeing that, the eyes of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama) streamed with tears. Sa`d said, “O Messenger of Allah! What is this?” He replied, “It is compassion which Allah has placed in the hearts of His slaves, Allah is Compassionate only to those among His slaves who are compassionate (to others)”.
Another version says: Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu Alylihi Wa Sallama) said, “Allah shows compassion only to those among His slaves who are compassionate”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Gathering of all the relatives is not necessary at the time of someone’s death. However, their participation in the funeral prayer is Mustahab Fard Kifayah (a desirable collective duty upon all Muslims; but which is sufficient or equivalent to all having performed it if it is performed by only some of them).
The desire of the relatives that at the time of someone’s death some pious people should be present is quite genuine so that the agonizing process of death is made easy by their prayers.
It is lawful that a trustworthy person is made to take an oath and it is essential for the trustee to fulfill it as it increases the mutual trust and love.
To shed tears on someone’s death, and to advice the relatives of the deceased for patience and accountability are permissible acts.
Expression of kindness and love is a gift from Allah and means to gain His Compassion, while deprivation from it is callousness.